Breathe
by Codzwallop
Summary: How could anyone expect her to feel alright after all what had happened? She just couldn't live on and forget.


Disclaimer : Everything belongs to MGM except my imagination.

Many thanks to Drey'auc for her beta-reading.

**Breath****e**

**At Elizabeth's**

After Carson left her apartment, Elizabeth got up from her sofa and decided it was time to tidy up a bit of the mess that her flat had become over the last few weeks. To say the truth, _mess_ was a euphemism. Indeed, Elizabeth let herself go since the expedition had to return from Atlantis. She wouldn't bother answer the phone, or call anyone, and would only eat takeaway food. So, tidying was, until then, an option.

Yet, Carson's visit had rapidly made them both feel awkward, especially for Carson, who had never seen Atlantis former leader in such a poor state of mind… If he were to compare her to the city, he would have said she had lost all her splendor. Once the soul of the city, now just the soul of a depressed woman, wearing sportswear and bed socks… What had happened to her favorite red T-shirts? Carson made her realize she was slowly falling into despair. But how could she not? How could anyone expect her to feel alright after all what had happened? She just couldn't live on and forget.

But it wasn't a reason to let herself go like this. And so, she started cleaning.

**At the SGC**

In the meantime, Carson had returned to the SGC. He was thoughtful. Elizabeth needed someone to help her, someone other than him, but who? Just at that moment, he heard someone talking in the corridor next to his lab, and recognizing the voice, he grinned: he just had found the lucky one.

"OK, Rodney, I understand, you are scared, that's just it. I knew you were ever since the beginning… "

John Sheppard grinned. Apparently, reverse psychology still worked on McKay, Carson gathered.

"Now, that's a good boy! See? I told y… Rodney…Rodney… Rod… MEREDITH? Can you let me talk for just a few seconds?"

Then he saw Carson and added: "You know what? We'll talk about it tonight. Yeah, Seeya." And he hung up the phone.

"Good afternoon, colonel!" the Scot greeted.

"Hey Doc, I thought we'd only meet you tonight, with Rodney."

"Right, but I had to come back here, to sort things out a bit, and I just happen to visit Elizabeth…"

As he stopped speaking for a few seconds, John asked: "Well, how is she doing? I haven't seen for… huh… for nearly…"

"For quite too long… Yes." Carson sighed. "I'm concerned about her. Elizabeth has been acting strange. I fear she's getting depressed from leaving the city."

Concern filled the colonel's face and the corner of his mouth twisted. "Maybe should I pay her a visit, too?"

"Actually, Colonel, I was just thinking that. If there's someone who can help her, it's you. You were close friends on Atlantis. I invited her to eat with us tonight, you'll see her there."

"No, I should go now, before she does anything stupid; you never know what could happen. Plus, I have the rest of the day off. See you tonight"

The colonel left, heading toward the elevators. Carson watched his retreating back and hoped seeing John would be enough to snap their leader out of her mood.

**At Elizabeth's again. **

The good doctor Weir was sitting in a large armchair. She was exhausted. Who knew cleaning, showering and eating a proper meal for a change could make one tired? She was dragged from that train of thought by the ringing of her doorbell.

"Who's that now," muttered Elizabeth.

On the other side of the door, the visitor was playing with the spyhole, bringing one eye too close, then their nose, and finally placing their finger on the hole to hide the view. _Silly_, thought Elizabeth, shaking her head. Then she opened the door.

"Surprise!" laughed John.

"John, I see you haven't lost your sense of humor." Elizabeth felt a smile creep across her face in spite of herself.

"Never! So, how you doin'? It's been a long while…"

As he said that, he was surprised to find that Elizabeth didn't seem at all depressed. She seemed just like she always did. But, then again, she always had been good at keeping up appearances.

"You've been talking to Carson, haven't you?" she asked as she stepped aside to allow him to enter before closing the door.

"Indeed" replied John, doing his best Teal'c impression. But Elizabeth missed the allusion. After an awkward pause John continued. "Actually, he's worrying about you; he said you weren't at your best. Obviously he missed something."

Elizabeth looked up at him. Upon seeing John at the door, she'd known why he was here. But still she hesitated before answering. "No, he didn't miss anything. But his visit made me realize I'd been moping, so I… I thought I could clean myself up a bit." She smiled poorly. "I'm glad to see you. I've been missing you…all." She moved to the window, clearly to avoid looking at him.

John watched her for a moment before dropping his eyes to the coffee table. He noticed something sitting on the table. It seemed to be some sort of manuscript. He read aloud:

"Doctor Elizabeth Weir's Memoirs on the Atlantis Expedition."

He looked up at to where Elizabeth was staring at her feet, blushing a little. _That's new_, he thought.

"You've really been missing Atlantis," he stated.

She shook her head slightly then looked away to the suddenly interesting window, blinking away tears she didn't want John to see.

"I just thought I…" She stopped, placing her hand over her mouth to hide her trembling bottom lip. Then, her voice trembling a bit and a tear slowly falling down her cheek, she continued:

"I can't let go. I just can't."

John couldn't stand it. He approached her. Elizabeth dared look at him, sobbing. And in less than a second, she felt his arms around her, just holding her, as her tears poured down her face.

"I should have come to see you ages ago. I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. You, more than anyone else, needed support."

John tightened his embrace. They stayed there for what seemed to be hours. Then, as Elizabeth slowly caught her breath, she planted a soft kiss on John's neck and pulled back in his arms. Their eyes locked.

"Thank you, John," She whispered.

The colonel couldn't think rationally. His only thoughts were of that kiss; the feel of her soft lips caressing his skin. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly raised his hand to caress Elizabeth's cheek, and ever so slowly, he closed the gap between them. Finally, their lips met.

The kiss that ensued was mostly for comfort, but it lead to more needy kisses. After what felt like forever, and yet far too soon, John pulled away and looked at her. As she arched an eyebrow, he grinned.

"There you are", he murmured, finally recognizing her true self.

He placed more kisses on her lips and embraced her again.

"You found me", Elizabeth replied softly, relieved.


End file.
